He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
