would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
