threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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