Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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