seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
