someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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