Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
