i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
