I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
