Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
