yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
