the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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