just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
