My cat gives me a boner
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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