For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
