He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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