Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
