dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
