The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
