my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just gargled with NyQuil
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
