I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
