Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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