You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
