I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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