I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
