Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
