my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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