Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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