You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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