just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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