well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
