She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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