maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
