Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
