Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
