all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
