our cab driver is having phone sex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
