I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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