It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
