He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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