never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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