Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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