If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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