Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
