My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That's intense
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
