So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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