Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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