Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
