Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
