So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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