haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
